The other Fellows and I are all considering many great
opportunities for next year. Some are concrete employment options with
other candidates applying for the same position. Others are really great
projects waiting to be realized, currently only existing in theoretical space. Additional part time jobs are available, allowing ample time for
freelancing and other music making. All are great options, and all allow
us to follow our passion. However, at this point in time, none of these
are black and white opportunities; they are all in grey space. Grey space
doesn't exist in my default setting. With all of these grey options, how
can I be expected to make a decision? More urgently, how can I get through the
anxiety of the next several months caused by not knowing where I will end up?
This is my biggest struggle this year. As a black and white thinker, I don't do we'll with theoretical opportunities or with having to wait and see what happens. Grey space makes my skin crawl, my heart race, and my brain speed into overdrive. I'm a fairly spontaneous person, but when it comes to my career I want solid and stable answers. Grey space makes me feel like I am directionless, like I will not be able to accomplish anything if everything remains unclear and undecided.
Continue reading on my personal blog.
Sistema Fellow '13